Excuses Excuses by Gareth Owen

Late again Blenkinsopp? What’s the excuse this time? Not my fault sir. Who’s fault is it then? Grandma’s sir. Grandma’s? What did she do? She died sir. Died? She’s seriously dead alright sir. That makes four grandmothers this term Blenkinsopp And all on PE days. I know. It’s very upsetting sir.

How many grandmothers have you got Blenkinsopp?
Grandmothers sir? None sir.
You said you had four.
All dead sir.
And what about yesterday Blenkinsopp?
What about yesterday sir?
You were absent yesterday.
That was the dentist sir.
The dentist died?
No sir. My teeth sir.
You missed the maths test Blenkinsopp!

	I’d been looking forward to it sir. Right, line up for PE. Can’t sir. No such word as “can’t” Blenkinsopp No kit sir. Where is it? Home sir. What’s it doing at home? Not ironed sir.
	Couldn’t you iron it? Can’t sir. Why not? Bad hand sir. Who usually does it? Grandma sir. Why couldn’t she do it? Dead sir.

 

Excuses Excuses by Gareth Owen summary

Blenkinsopp turns up at class late again and his teacher probably tired of him/her outwitting him by making up such inventive excuses. Today the teacher plans to catch Blenkinsopp out for all the times he had been late. But Blenkinsopp quick on trigger as always when asked why he/she was late answered in no time that it wasn’t his/her delinquency which forced him/her to arrive after class’s customary time. The teacher protested and interrogated about who’s transgression it really was. Upon hearing this the quick-witted Blenkinsopp instantaneously reciprocated that his/her grandma had died.  He didn’t even feel the slightest hesitation and said that that this has made 4 grandmothers this term and all of them had died on P.E. days. He also interrogated about why he/she was absent yesterday. Blenkinsopp replied although he/she was looking forward to the math test she couldn’t make it as she/he had an appointment with the dentist. The teacher’s theorization of Blenkinsopp’s alibi was evidently gibberish so he asked the class to prepare for P.E. but Blenkinsopp with sarcastic politeness said he/she didn’t have his/her kit when asked why he/she replied he/she had a bad hand therefore inept for ironing his kit and at any rate that was a task his grandma took care of when asked what had happened to his grandmother he said she had died linked with the beginning excuse that took the conversation nowhere.

I liked this poem because it is very humorous and I liked the way Blenkinsopp outwitted the teacher in the end with the excuse. The teacher obviously didn’t think Blenkinsopp was telling the truth so he kept asking for explanations to catch Blenkinsopp out but didn’t succeed. I admired Blenkinsopp because he/she was very clever and subtle in catching the teacher out, instead.

 

 

A paragraph is a series of sentences that are organized and coherent, and are all related to a single topic. Paragraphs are often mistaken with the essay. An essay consists of many paragraphs. It has many topics. Almost every piece of writing you do that is longer than a few sentences is organized into paragraphs. This is because paragraphs show a reader where the subdivisions of an essay begin and end, and thus help the reader see the organization of the essay and grasp its main points.

Most paragraphs in an essay have a three-part structure—introduction, body, and conclusion. You can see this structure in paragraphs whether they are narrating, describing, comparing, contrasting, or analyzing information. Each part of the paragraph plays an important role in communicating your meaning to your reader.

Introduction: the first section of a paragraph; should include the topic sentence and any other sentences at the beginning of the paragraph that give background information or provide a transition.

Body: follows the introduction; discusses the controlling idea, using facts, arguments, analysis, examples, and other information.

Conclusion: the final section; summarizes the connections between the information discussed in the body of the paragraph and the paragraph’s controlling idea.

 Many students define paragraphs in terms of length: a paragraph is a group of at least five sentences; a paragraph is half a page long, etc. In reality, though, the unity and coherence of ideas among sentences is what constitutes a paragraph. Length and appearance do not determine whether a section in a paper is a paragraph. Here is a topic for paragraph.